Second Chances

Before I became a Christian... I met this guy.
He was a great guy and he had a kid. I had never dated a guy with a kid so it was all new to me. While I had never met his son (thankfully we were both VERY clear that we didn't want that to happen until we were "sure") ... we would often talk about his son and his ex.

We had a great connection. We laughed, and had endless conversations. I liked him.. A lot. He liked me... A lot.

But, one day a call came. His tone made it obvious that he had something important to say.
The conversation started with him letting me know how much he liked me. That, he hated what he was doing but... he had to end things with me because the mother of his son wanted to work things out and, he thought his son deserved that.

I did too! I hated that phone call. I hated hearing that our friendship/dating was over but, I was happy for his son. I was happy for the chance he was giving his son. Even before I became a wife and a mother, I understood the importance of parents working it out.. I came from divorced parents and even tho my parents didn't split until I was 15...  I knew the pain that divorce left and how you carried with you as you became a young adult and an adult.

We ended the phone call with me wishing him luck .. The tears fell down my face .. happy  and sad as I thought about the chance this little boy was getting. The love that his daddy had for him.
He could have told her no. He could have said "I am in this relationship and I am not going to try"
Him and I may or may not have worked out but, he wasn't willing to take that risk.
Not at his sons expense.

I missed him. I am not going to lie. I  cried tears of sorrow... I told him if they didn't work out to call me and he promised he would. He never called ... I am glad!

The point of this story is... what is the price you are willing to pay for happiness? Are you willing to risk your kids happiness for your own? Are you willing to let your children suffer? If so , for what?? So that you don't have to hear their mom complain or, so you can be free?

When we decide to have kids. Our happiness is 2nd. Yes, it is important for us to be happy too.. but , I find my happiness comes from my kids. I am ecstatic  when they are happy.. devastated when they are sad and horrified when they are scared.
My love isn't based on their attitudes, their happiness, fears or sadness. I love them regardless of their emotions and character traits (and even faults). They love me despite the fact that I fail them daily. They know that I try as hard as I can and sometimes.. I am not able to do it "all". Tho, not for the lack of trying. But, they don't need me to do it all. All the need is me. Knowing that even if they break my lamp or back talk... regardless if they say things in anger that they don't mean or if they won't keep their rooms clean... I am here. Always have been... always will be.
They don't have everything that life has to offer... but they have a mom that will be there for them through every single stage of their life... because ... When I put on the parent uniform.. I didn't think "If they/life is perfect.. I will keep this on. But, the second things get rough.. it is GONE" .. Nope. When I put it on.. it was for life. Just like my marriage uniform was and my salvation uniform is.
God has entrusted me with four amazing humans. Who, aren't perfect but they are MINE. They make my heart smile and watching them grow brings me great joy. Thank you God!