Nothing Gold Can Stay!

Something I have learned (always knew really but reality set in) this past year is... Nothing Gold Can Stay.

A year ago I had a family. I know I still have a family but, it is broken. 

A little over a year ago, my daughter had a friend who came over our house often as she was from a single father home. She was in awe of our family. We took her places, fed her real dinners , took her to church and let her hang out with us in a "family" setting.

She loved being there until she moved. 

I bring this up because a year ago today, we were a family. I stayed home, lived in a home I loved and home schooled my kids.

But, nothing gold can stay! 

I learned over this past year that only God, His word and eternity are forever. Nothing else is promised.. nothing else is guaranteed.

A year go, while there was much sadness.. I was living the dream! This year I am just living! I am struggling to keep my head afloat!

I went from having a husband who said "I love you" with a kiss when he left to, an ex husband who can't even look at me.

My kids had an awesome dad. A dad that was an active part of their life. A man who as a dad I admired. One of my favorite things about him was the dad he was.

But, nothing gold can stay.... my kids see him bi-weekly. They talk to him once or twice a week. They miss him. Even when they don't say it, they show it in their actions. One may be overly sensitive and cry over nothing. One may act out or just stay quiet. I can tell when they are bothered yet, there isn't a thing I can do for them...

Except be their one constant. To be the ones that they KNOW will always be there for them. If my ex husband got anything out of this divorce it is the piece of mind that his kids are loved and taken care of. I do what I need to and, the fact that he goes so often without calling and checking in makes me feel good that he is confident with the job I am doing for our children.

One day I pray we can be civil. I am not sure that it can ever happen. But, if it doesn't.. we have a LONG rest of our lives ... co-parenting is HARD.. co-parenting with all the anger is impossible.

My Pastor told me that "the good thing about anger is, it doesn't last, it fades and goes away" I am paraphrasing there but, it is true. And, it really was something I needed to hear.

God is good and, through all of this I do see his blessings. I am blessed beyond measure. I have four amazing kids who love and adore me. 

I have a home that is mine... bought it on my own.. that feels GOOD.

I have a job that I love and bosses I love just as much. It is a hard job but, I enjoy as much as someone could like their job.

I have a car. Also bought on my own! 

I have some awesome friends and family. With all that my kids lost this year (their dad and other family members who became part-time in their lives) they have stepped up to the plate and really came through for them. Even coming to baseball games to support them, buying them school supplies and one time, my friend just had pizza ordered to our house because she wanted to surprise the kids!

The blessings are endless but sometimes it is easy  to get off track and think of the sad things. 

But, focusing on the blessings is important. The good thing about "nothing gold can stay" is that .. the Bible makes some pretty awesome promises that we won't suffer forever either! Here are some great verses that show Gods Mercy and Love toward us!

Psalms 55:22

Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.

Matthew 7:7

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

Luke 11:9

And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

Psalms 105:4

Seek the LORD, and his strength: seek his face evermore.

the list goes on and on really.. but, aren't these fantastic? 
What these say to me is that, this won't last for ever!!! 

There is a lot of rain..  but there is a lot of sunshine and, you have to get through the rain to see the rainbow! 

(a friend told me that and it stuck!)