contentment

This picture is a bit shocking but, I feel it is SO true.
It is sure hard to live life when you are discontent.
I have been there in different times in my life. I have been so discontent that I have let it steal my joy.
One time I remember a LONG time ago when I used to go to concerts and such, my (then) boyfriend had bought me tickets to a favorite band. I was so excited to go and so happy he was so thoughtful.
BUT.. once I got there and seen how close we were to the stage.. I couldn't help but think about how much better it would be to be ON THE MAIN FLOOR... cause well, that was where the fun was! I spent the entire evening angry with him that he would not go down and find someone to swap tickets with us. It stole my joy. I remember nothing from that evening except being angry. What a jerky little princess was I.
I couldn't just be happy that I was there, or that I was way closer then almost everyone there... nope.. not me.. discontent!
I remember another time when my husband and I were searching for cars. I had a cutesy little two seater truck and I was expecting so, we had to get more of a family car.
We went out looking and, I fell in love with a Ford Focus. He, liked a Dodge Neon.
I did NOT want the Dodge neon. I wanted the focus and, I remember when he told me that we were getting the Neon I was pure angry . I was SURE he was wrong some how and I was sick all day.. I wasn't getting MY way.
I got the Neon and instead of being happy that I had this pretty little red car ( a car nicer then most cars I had ever owned) ran great, looked great and was totally reliable and an all around great car.... I was discontent. It wasn't the adorable little Focus I had invisioned myself driving around in. It was not the car that I wanted and so, I did not want it.
After time tho... I got over all of that and grew to love the neon.. that car lasted SO long and even survived being hit (while parked infront of our house) twice! It was a good car and, I ended up being sad to see it go when we got rid of it two years ago! BUT... being discontent about it stole my joy for sometime.
I am sure that there are ten billion examples of this.. examples when I was discontent and it stole my joy.
I know that I have done this with many areas in my life.. take my house for instance.
I have been discontent with my home in the past.. be it crowded, or disorganized or not in the ideal location... I have let this discontentment steal my joy. I have had to work hard at being content with my home and now, I love my home. yes, I have gripes here and there.. it is not perfect because imperfect people live here but, I do love my home and enjoy being here. In fact, I love to invite people over to visit and have dinner and the like because well, I am no longer discontent.
I have spent a good portion of time researching how to make things more OURS for little to no money. How to organize and utilize the space that we have so we can all enjoy our space. I have come to realize that I need things to be minimal or, I feel too crowded. So, my living room has minimal furniture. My childrens room has minimal things (dressers in the basement ect) so when I walk into a room I do not feel swallowed.. I found this to be an important step in becoming content.
I also had to make it "mine" I needed "pretties" that threw in my style, my personality to make it homey and warm and inviting to ME. If it is "mine" then I am going to take more pride in it.
An example where discontentment really stuck it to me. When we moved into our home, our bathroom had teal and black tile ( on every wall over halfway up). YUCK. I love the retro style but this, this was NOT cute. I complained and secretly mumbled under my breath every day we lived here. Sure, I could find things that would "match" but I was never content... One day tho, we noticed a leak behind our shower handles and, just like that all the teal tile had to be torn out.. YES I can get my DREAM bathroom... only.. we did not have the money to redo our bathroom at that exact moment and, well.... it has been sitting like it is for like a year... un finished, bare walls (just drywall) and nothing cutesy about it. AHHHH I long now for the teal tiles that I was so discontent with before... yup... that is me... grass is always greener eh?
It is not perfect.. but we have more then we deserve and living here we are able to do so much that we wouldn't be able to afford if we lived for a house payment so... I can't complain.. well I can but, I won't :D I am thankful. God is too good to me.
I get this way with my car. When I got my car I thought it the PERFECT car for us. It was big and roomy and perfect. But , the newness wore off and I started to see its flaws. I started to see how much gas it actually took to drive around a full sized van and, soon, I became discontent. Only, I didn't realize it till just recently.. recently it dawned on me that I had been complaining a lot about our car.. instead of being thankful to have one. AND not only that but two! I am not stuck at home when Jason works.. I can leave because I have my OWN car. How DARE I be discontent?!?!?
It is nothing "special" but it is paid for. It fits our family and while I do have the desire to have a mini van again... it is a good car for us for the moment.
Anyway... this went on and became a bit rambley but, I am really trying to practice contentment. I get so upset when I hear my kids discontent with something.. yet , where do they learn it?? I am thankful for all that I have. I do have WAY more then I even deserve. In the end, people a long time before had a LOT more kids then I do, less money and less room and MUCH less to work with.. I am a selfish spoiled brat to be discontent with anything in my life :)
1st Timothy6:6 [6] But godliness with contentment is great gain.