Hello, Hello... is this thing on?

have one of you had that as a tittle to one of your posts before? if so, I stole it.. not really from you.. it was REALLY from Monsters Inc.. but then I remembered that maybe one of you may have at one point did the same thing... Anyways, I am chatty, its been awhile.

WOW... I cant BELIEVE that 2010 is over. I feel like there is so much that I did not accomplish that I had intended... But, the last half of the past year was curve ball after curve ball.. some I was able to dodge, others hit me right in the middle of the face but, slowly things are returning to normal.

I have done some reflecting over the past couple of days. the past three months of my life have been an emotional roller coaster. I have had some crazy highs and some bad lows.. but, in the end, God has saw me through... praise the Lord for his comfort and strength.
With my cousins passing..(my cousin passed away two days after Christmas) .I have thought on things that I thought mattered so much... things that just really dont, in the grand scheme of things.
life isnt about our wants... and obsessing over them.. yes yes, I know this... we all "know it" we ALL say "I am happy with what I have" but, there is always a BUT.
I am happy with my car but.... I would like a newer one
I am thankful for my house BUT... I would like a bigger one...
the list goes on and on.. it could apply to almost every single part of life. It could apply to a job, your family, your church... anything....
In 2011, I plan to focus more on what I HAVE and not what I dont have. I guess I always know it, but, maybe the Lord doenst want me to have the things that I do not have... yah, I can say it and , I can sit proudly and say "I am a pretty content person" and really, if I compare myself to the "world" and all the "gimme gimme" attitudes they have.. I guess I am "a pretty content person" but.. contentment isnt about your lips... its about your heart... what is my heart REALLY saying?
Yes I am thankful for my home BUT.. there is a BUT...... I want the construction to be done...I justify my whiney attitude by saying "But *there is that word again* its been going on since April" ... SO WHAT... WHO CARES... isnt the bottom line that me and my children and my hard working husband have a warm home to sleep in at night?
yes, I am thankful for my van to get us to where we need to go BUT... I wish it had heat, no cracked windshield and mirror.... isnt the bottom like that we DO have a car to drive around it.. that we arent a one car family and I can leave when my husband is away?
I will say things like "I cant wait till my kids are a bit older and can pick up more after themselves" BUT... isnt it enough that I have children? that I do have little ones around laughing, playing, crying and fighting.. yes, even crying and fighting.. there are soooooooo many woman and men who do not have children, who cant even have ONE.. and I not only had ONE but I had FOUR... .. GOD IS SO GOOD .. who am I to think ANYthing ill about my family. even if it is in jest?
And then I can say "I am so thankful for my husband, he is such a hard worker" and then have a "want list" a mile long.. knowing to get some of these things, he will be gone from our family more, he will be physically and mentally more tired... can I say that I am really thankful for his work if I just want to add more to him... if I dont think he works "Enough" to provide ME the things I WANT?

a couple of verses before I go
Hebrews 13:5 - Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
1 Timothy 6:6 - But godliness with contentment is great gain.